We all desperately want our kids to be successful in sport. I’m no different. It’s a natural, inherent, desire of any parent in any club. So, how do you give your child every chance to be a soccer star? It just requires focusing on the right components. The difference between wanting and actually having a successful soccer player is not as difficult as it may sound.
In order to have a chance to be successful at the upper levels of soccer, your child must fully embrace the following at the lower levels:
1. Aggressiveness
2. Competitive Spirit
3. Effort
I believe that if you encourage these three little character traits in your child every day they can achieve their wildest soccer dreams. Here’s how:
Aggressiveness
Aggression has a negative vibe when it comes to things like dogs and dating but for soccer, being aggressive is a necessary and positive trait. As a parent, you need to make being aggressive a sought after and desired behavior. The very first night of practice a number of years back with the team I coach (now seniors in high school), I made sure loud and clear that being aggressive was a positive, encouraged, and required team skill. Our first ever drill consisted of players wrestling in wet grass with every fiber of their body over a soccer ball and the first one able to stand up and raise the ball over their head was the winner. I couldn’t make the point any louder and it has paid off. That same core group of girls has exceeded every metric in the club becoming the most accomplished team ever in their thirty year history!
Competitive Spirit
Winners win and outcomes matter. At my house, we make even the smallest tasks a competitive challenge. Tic Tac Toe is do or die. Cleaning rooms is a race. If someone or something can be outdone, it’s outdone. We rib and joke when we pass someone by in order to stir up competitive juices. Don’t mistake this behavior for a win at all costs mentality. It’s a will to win we’re after. Challenge your child at home to compete in the most mundane tasks and they’ll be sure to take that fighting spirit to the field and persevere. Competitive spirit drives determination. We need kids who hate losing and will double down and lead their teams when setbacks arise and they will. We need to help our kids grow grit. Never give your child an out. Never an excuse. It wasn’t the ref or the field or the coach’s fault. We just need to work harder. This is how you make your soccer journey a never ending ascension and not a revolving door to nowhere.
Effort
If I look back at the top 5 kids I’ve ever coached they all have this quality in spades. Their work rate and effort was legendary and never wavered in training or in games. It was clear for all to see that they were the heart and engine of each of their teams. You, as a parent, need to praise effort instead of results. When our oldest son (9 years old at the time and hopefully a future engineer) wanted to show the Lego masterpiece he had concocted in his room after a week of work, we made sure to praise the energy and time he put into the project and not how good the end result looked. Praise effort because it leads and builds further intrinsic motivation. Reward effort because it is infectious individually and collectively as a group. When you’re on the sideline this weekend, be a coach of effort for your own kid and all the kids in your club. Don’t hammer a mistake, reward the recovery run. Applaud the try and forget the execution for now.
Now these three character traits alone won’t guarantee your child a multi-million dollar contract and you a happy retirement, but it will provide them a framework to reach their potential in the sport they love. Success on the pitch is about making decisions so help yourself by making the decision to instill these three character traits in your child!
If you would like additional resources on how to raise an extraordinary soccer star, check out a few resources from the web below.
Additional Resources for Soccer Supportive Parents-
How to raise the next Messi or Heath
0 Comments